Mr. Pim Passes By (1 of 34)

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MR. PIM PASSES BY

By A. A. (Alan Alexander) Milne


ACT I



_The morning-room at Marden House (Buckinghamshire) decided more than a hundred years ago that it was all right, and has not bothered about itself since. Visitors to the house have called the result such different adjectives as "mellow," "old-fashioned," "charming"--even "baronial" and "antique;" but nobody ever said it was "exciting." Sometimes_ OLIVIA _wants it to be more exciting, and last week she rather let herself go over some new curtains; she still has the rings to put on. It is obvious that the curtains alone will overdo the excitement; they will have to be harmonized with a new carpet and cushions._ OLIVIA _has her eye on just the things, but one has to go carefully with_ GEORGE. _What was good enough, for his great-great-grandfather is good enough for him. However, we can trust_ OLIVIA _to see him through it, although it may take time._

_A scene plot is given at the end of the play._

_There are three ways of coming into the room: by the open windows leading from the garden, by the doors to R., or by the staircase from up_ R, MR. PIM _chooses the latter way--or rather_ ANNE _chooses it for him; and_ MR. PIM _kindly and inoffensively follows her. She comes down steps and crosses to_ C., _followed by_ MR. PIM.

ANNE (_moves up, looking off_ L. _and returning to_ PIM R.C.). I'll tell Mr. Marden you're here, sir. Mr. Pim, isn't it?

PIM (_nervously_). Yes--er--Mr. Pim--Mr. Carraway Pim. He doesn't know me, you understand, but if he could just spare me a few moments--er--- (_He fumbles in his pockets_.) I gave you that letter?

ANNE. Yes, sir, I'll give it to him.

PIM (_brings out a stamped letter which is not the one he was looking for, but which reminds him of something else he has forgotten. Looking at letter_). Oh! Dear me!

ANNE. Yes, sir?

PIM. Dear me. I ought to have posted this. (_Looking at letter_.) Oh, well, I must send a telegram. You have a telegraph office in the village?

ANNE. Oh, yes, sir. (_Moving up to terrace up_ L. _and pointing off_ L.) If you turn to the left when you get outside the gates, it's about a hundred yards down the hill. Turn to the left and down the hill.

PIM. Turn to the left and down the hill. Thank you, thank you. Very stupid of me to have forgotten.

(ANNE _exits up staircase R_.)

(MR. PIM _wanders about the room humming to himself, and looking at the pictures and photos on piano. Then goes out at window up_ L.) (DINAH _enters from staircase up_ R. _dancing, and humming the air of "Down on the Farm:" she is nineteen, very pretty, very happy, and full of boyish high spirits and conversation. She dances to foot of stairs, looks off_ R., _then down_ C., _then to piano; sits and plays a few bars and sings "Down on the Farm," rises and moves up to_ R. _of piano, and as she does so_ PIM _re-enters from window up_ L. _and they come suddenly face to face up back_ C. _below the writing-table. There is a slight pause_.)

DINAH (_backing a step_). Hullo!

PIM. You must forgive me, but... Good morning, Mrs. Marden.

DINAH. Oh, I say, _I_'m not Mrs. Marden. I'm Dinah.

PIM (_with a smile_). Then I will say, Good morning. Miss Diana.

DINAH (_reproachfully_). Now, look here, if you and I are going to be friends, you mustn't do that. Dinah, _not_ Diana. Do remember it, there's a good man, because I get so tired of correcting people. (_Moving down_ C. _to_ B.) Have you come to stay with us? (_Sits on settee_ R.)

PIM (_following her down_). Well, no, Miss--er--Dinah.

DINAH (_nodding_). That's right. I can see I shan't have to speak to _you_ again. Now tell me your name, and I bet you I get it right first time. And do sit down.

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