Mr. Pim Passes By (2 of 34)

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ACT I (CONT'D)

PIM (_crossing to_ L. _and sitting on settee_ L.). Thank you. My name is-- er--Pim, Carraway Pim--

DINAH. Pim, that's easy.

PIM. And I have a letter of introduction to your father--

DINAH (_rising and crossing to_ R. _of table_ L.C. _and speaking across same_). Oh, no; now you're going wrong again, Mr. Pim. George isn't my father; he's my uncle. Uncle George--he doesn't like me calling him George. Olivia doesn't mind--I mean she doesn't mind being called Olivia, but George is rather touchy. (_Sitting on table, facing_ PIM.) You see, he's been my guardian since I was about two, and then about five years ago he married a widow called Mrs. Telworthy.

PIM (_repeating_). Mrs. Telworthy.

DINAH. That's Olivia--so she became my Aunt Olivia, only she lets me drop the Aunt. (_Speaking very sharply_.) Get that?

PIM (_a little alarmed_). I--I think so, Miss Marden.

DINAH (_admiringly_). I say, you _are_ quick, Mr. Pim. Well, if you take my advice, when you've finished your business with George, you will hang about a bit and see if you can't see Olivia. (_Rising and moving_ C.) She's simply--(_feeling for the word_)--devastating. I don't wonder George fell in love with her.

(_Moving to above piano_ R., _looking at photos, etc._)

PIM (_rising and looking at his watch and coming_ C.). It's only the merest matter of business--just a few words with your uncle--Perhaps I'd better...

DINAH (_looking at photo on top end of piano_). Well, you must please yourself, Mr. Pim. I'm just giving you a friendly word of advice. Naturally, I was awfully glad to get such a magnificent aunt. (_Moving down to_ L. _of piano and taking up and looking at photo of_ OLIVIA.) Because, after all, marriage _is_ rather a toss up, isn't it?--

PIM (_taken aback_). Well, I don't, know, I haven't had any experience...

DINAH (_continuing_). And George might have gone off with anybody. (_Moving to_ PIM.) It's different on the stage, where guardians always marry their wards, but George couldn't marry _me_ because I'm his niece. Mind you, I don't say that I should have had him, because, between ourselves, he's a little bit old-fashioned.

PIM. So he married--er--Mrs. Marden instead.

DINAH. Mrs. Telworthy--don't say you've forgotten already, just when you were getting so good at names. Mrs. Telworthy. (_Moves to and sits on settee_ R.) You see, Olivia married the Telworthy man and went to Australia with him, and he drank himself to death in the bush, or wherever you drink yourself to death out there, and Olivia came home to England, and met my uncle, and he fell in love with her and proposed to her--(_rises and kneels on settee_)--and he came into my room that night-- I was about fourteen--and turned on the light and said, "Dinah, how would you like to have a beautiful aunt of your very own?" (PIM _laughs_.) And I said: "Congratulations, George." (PIM _laughs again_.) That was the first time I called him George. Of course, I'd seen it coming for weeks. Telworthy, isn't it a funny name?

PIM. Oh, a most curious name--Telworthy. From Australia, you say?

DINAH. Yes, I always say that he's probably still alive, and will turn up here one morning and annoy George.

PIM (_shocked_). Oh!

DINAH. But I'm afraid there's not much chance.

PIM (_shocked_). Miss Marden! Really!

DINAH, Well, of course, I don't really _want_ it to happen, but it _would_ be rather exciting. (_Crossing to_ PIM.) Wouldn't it, Mr Pim?

PIM. Exciting!

(PIM _crosses to below settee_ L.)

DINAH. However, things like that never seem to occur down here, somehow, (_Running up into window up_ R. PIM _watches her_.) There was a hayrick burnt last year about a mile away, but that isn't the same, is it?

PIM. No, I should say that that was certainly different.

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