Posted by Srilatha
Jun 27, 2008 1:14 am

Replies (9)

Posted by

• IMO, emotionality is the foundation of romance. Physicality is the enhancer (and comes later, no matter how soon or how distant within the relationship).
  
  But sometimes the romance lies within reaching the point of physical contact -- the "challenge"; and once it's obtained, the romance is lost.

  Jan 4, 2009 4:45 pm
  by rozeznmetal

• Romance is clearly sexually driven but not necessarily enacted. I also believe it's essential to developing relationships because it’s blind. (Love is not despite the cliché.) This blindness allows one to ignore the other's faults and, if they're a well matched couple, give both the time to choose acceptance of these. Acceptance is essential in all types of love, platonic to erotic. So romance is not love but allows it to develop.
  Romance is also quite a new phenomenon. ‘Love’ (i.e. romantic) literature didn’t exist until the advent of Modern English in the 16th Century. Chaucer never wrote of it but Shakespeare and Marlow both did.
  Read Eric Fromme’s ‘The Art of Loving’ to get a better overview. It’s described in my book list.

  Jan 11, 2009 12:19 pm
  by John_Rempel

• Boy, this is a great topic! I have had this debate and unsettled feeling between sex and romance for nearly a lifetime! I think we have to remember that romance and love does not always occur between a woman and man. There are many, many forms of love. So, which is the greater, or greatest, type of love? I am asking. Many say the romantic kind.
  
  I was told love is sacrifice.
  Sex and lust play very little part in that equation.
  
  I highly recommend all ages read the love story found in 'Rowan of the Wood' (authors Christine and Ethan Rose). Here is the site: RowanoftheWood.com. That book gave me a great example of what true love and romance is when it literally transcends centuries and involves sacrifices so extreme, not many could ever hope to accomplish such acts. I have to say the book format has 'stuck' with me as a form of comparison when asking: 'Does this person truly love me?' ever since I finished reading the book in July.

  Jan 11, 2009 11:34 pm
  by Theresetoo

• Hi Therese,
  To say 'love is sacrifice' is hyperbole. Indeed sacrifice shows love but simply giving ones time and/or effort also does. Sacrifice is hopefully not always necessary. But just truly asking, “How are you?” is an expression of love that can hardly be called sacrifice.
  That “sex and lust play very little part in that” is certainly true, but desire can lead to love. I feel that love is the cake and sex the icing. I’d rather eat cake by itself than icing without it. However, many people with no experience of love will settle for sex as a shoddy substitute pretending it is love. Love is a learned behaviour. If one had none in childhood, their needs are too great for them to be able to give. These needs must be dealt with. That’s what friends are for, and there are no lovers who aren’t friends. But love must become mutual to survive.
  I'll read 'Rowan of the Wood'.

  Jan 12, 2009 11:34 am
  by John_Rempel

• Since rereading Wuthering again I realized it didn`t have any romance,the intro mentioned erotic love a couple of times ,but it seemed awfully sterile without even a hint of romance

  Feb 4, 2009 10:05 pm
  by sherrilynn

• Romance is absolutely not a taboo. I sincerely enjoy a good romance novel when I get the change to indulge.

  Feb 9, 2009 12:37 pm
  by fredsmilek

• To an ADMIN: This topic needs to be removed from this forum! It's extremely offensive, and has nothing to do with literature!

  Feb 11, 2009 10:39 am
  by AndreaNo1

• @AndreaNo1: I don't think this topic warrants removal from the forum at this point--folks have been incorporating books into their responses, and the posts are thoughtful responses to the question. If something explicit or inappropriate is posted we will definitely remove it right away.

  Feb 12, 2009 1:33 am
  by MaggieH (admin)

• A really well written romance with a good plot, beautiful language, and well drawn characters can have implied intimacy and still have a place in literature.

  Jul 30, 2009 2:19 am
  by nomad